SCENT
This Black Label Collection scent features a warm blend of cardamom, black tea, and amber lifted by bright orange and earthy oud with a dash of cinnamon to tie it all together. Talk therapy was inspired by my own mental health journey and the many hours I've spent talking to a mental health professionals on couches.
NOTES
STORY
I was always a shy kid, nervous even. But I started seriously struggling with my mental health when I was 6 years old. By 8, I was sitting in front of a therapist. Her name was Marianne. She was a kind woman, in her 30s. She had a small, gray-toned office with a gray couch along the back wall. A simple analog clock would hang above the door. Although there was a shelf filled with coloring books, crayons, and toys, the best thing in her office was a skylight. It was positioned perfectly above the couch, laying effortlessly in the light gray slanted ceiling. It offered a small glimpse of life beyond the session - open sky. I would wait in that office and bite my nails until Marianne came into the room to begin. During every session, Marianne drank cinnamon tea.
Each Tuesday after school, I would leave my 2nd grade class and go see Marianne. For 2 years, my crippling anxiety had caused me to shake and become physically ill. My parents did the best they could but eventually they recruited professional help to take over (thank God for them).
This candle is a celebration of a single moment that happened in my young brain during one of my sessions with Marianne.
Like any other Tuesday, I left an uneventful day at school and I walked into Marianne's gray room and sat on her gray couch. Just like I always did before she came in, I took deep breaths, bit my nails, and stared out the skylight. That day, I was looking at a bright blue August sky. Marianne opened the door and I started to shake. Warm cinnamon traveled from her mug to my nose as an environmental cue that the 50 minute countdown started now. In her other hand was a piece of paper that I didn't know would change my life.
Marianne sat in her chair facing me, set down her mug of tea, and said "Erin, we're going to try something different today." I was scared and I didn't want to be there but therapy would trigger my anxiety and I said nothing. As she found a clipboard, she continued, "On this piece of paper is a drawing of an empty glass." She handed me the clipboard and a Crayola. "I want you to pretend like orange juice equals happiness. If this empty glass is your day, fill it up with as much orange juice happiness as you felt today." I looked at her for a second. As I bit my nail on my left hand, I began coloring in my orange juice happiness with my right. When I was done, I handed it back to her. She looked at it and said "Interesting, I see that you didn't fill the glass all the way to the top with orange juice. Why isn't it full?" And that question changed my life.
"What?" I replied. "This glass is only about halfway full of orange juice, why isn't it full?" I didn't know how to answer. My day was normal and happy. I got up for school, I was healthy, I had friends and family that loved me. I had eaten, I was cared for, and my mom was on time to pick me up from school. I sat there and looked at her. Then, I looked up, out at the summer sky. Then to the analog clock that hadn't moved much. Then back at her. She held the silence. After a few moments, the silence became too much and I resorted to, "I don't know." She replied, "Hmm.. that's ok! Did you know that sometimes, people's brains play tricks on them?" "What do you mean?" I responded. "Brains are tricky like that. Some days, we can have a perfectly lovely day and still not feel 100% happy. I wonder if we could talk about your day a bit more and add some more orange juice to this cup?", she offered. I had never heard that before. I had never had someone tell me that brains were tricky and my brain might be playing tricks on me. Maybe I had, but not like this, not so clearly. I had never felt validated in my anxiety and panic. Hell, I didn't even know the words "anxiety" or "panic." But suddenly, it was clear that my anxiety was not my reality, it was my brain playing tricks on me. All because of orange juice and a very intuitive mental health professional.
The rest of the session flew by with just a couple glances toward the skylight and not a single glance at the clock. It was as if the floodgates had opened and the feelings I had been struggling with my whole life were approachable now. They were familiar and they were accessible. Don't get me wrong, they were still uncomfortable (and still are), but they were mine and I was free to talk about them in this space, wrapped in Marianne's warm cinnamon cloud of talk therapy.
Marianne was my first therapist but she wasn't my last. Over the course of the past 20 years, I've seen many therapists, sat on a lot of couches, and stared at many walls and ceilings. My mental health journey has been a long one and it’s not over yet.
Black cardamom tea, cinnamon, and a splash of orange juice. This candle is an ode to my 20-year mental health journey through talk therapy. An ode to 2002. An ode to Marianne and her cinnamon tea. An ode to 8 year-olds everywhere on gray couches looking out skylights (and the parents that put them there). An ode to breaking stigmas and sharing stories like this so that others feel less alone. May your glass always be full of orange juice. And if it's not, may you have the strength to search for why.
PAIRING
Talk therapy pairs well with staring out a skylight, journaling, brand new slippers, a multi-color sunset, listening to your favorite album on vinyl, a long shower, asking for help when you need it, or orange juice.
DESCRIPTION
Crank up the luxury a bit with our Black Label Collection candles. These limited edition candles tell a stories that mean a lot to us. This candle adds the perfect simplistic, modern style to your space with just a touch more elegance.
AESTHETIC
Inspired by a time, place, moment, our Black Label Collection was created to indulge your senses and bring you back to a memory. This collection still maintains all the simple, modern, sleek elements of our Signature Collection but with a luxury twist.
DETAILS
Every candle is made with 100% soy wax from natural, domestically grown soybeans, hand-selected fine fragrance oils, and a natural cotton and paper wick for a clean, long-lasting, and even burn. Check out our candle care page to learn more about our candles and how to care for them.
8 OZ